Sick and Tired

     My airline is probably like every other airline when it comes to its sick list policy. If you’re ill, don’t come to work, but don’t let it happen too often, or disciplinary measures will be taken. An airline employee earns a certain amount of paid hours for use in case they become ill. What they don’t use goes into a sick bank. Some people use the hours at the first sign of the sniffles, while others wait until bypass surgery. In my opinion, they are your hours, you’ve earned them, and you should be able to use them for anything you deem necessary. Not so, says the airline. In their eyes, they are for use in extreme cases only and should be avoided whenever possible.

     Flight attendants are exposed to many different people, climate changes, and irregular hours. Thus they are susceptible to the sickness of the moment including the current SARS epidemic. The flu, colds, and even head lice are but a few of the onboard-transmitted conditions. An airline supervisor will tell you that the ideal employee will retire with their sick bank full. I am here to tell the management to WAKE UP!

Management is surprised when Mary Steward, who is about ready to retire, goes on the sick list for some ailment until her sick bank is depleted. She then conveniently retires. Nobody in their right mind would leave with many hours, if any, in their sick bank. It’s like closing a savings account with money still inside, and not taking the cash. So, management gets tougher, and the employees become even more protective of their accumulated leave.

 There is a solution that benefits both sides. If management offered a buy-back of sick time at 50% credited pay, I guarantee you that there would be at least 75% less people calling in sick. This way the company would save money, the flight attendant would make money without dreaming up new ailments, and the insurance companies won’t be saddled with doctor visits from employees who aren’t really sick. It sounds simple to me, but the longer I work for a large airline, the more I believe simple logic is a myth.

I was able to stay off the sick list for 10 years with my current airline. My account was accumulating hours, and I realized that one day my luck would eventually run out. One day I checked in for a very senior flight to Europe. Halfway through the briefing a supervisor walked in and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, I want to present the following award to a flight attendant who has a ten-year perfect attendance record.”

I started to get a bad feeling, as these types of awards are similar to a fast food employee of the month, and not highly regarded. I thought to myself, “Oh, God, no, please let it be someone else, please please….”

“Frank Steward, for your hard work and commitment, we all want to thank you.” He handed me a pin and the other flight attendants half-heartedly clapped, as they scowled in my general direction. I suddenly felt sick!

The remainder of the trip each crewmember took me aside and lectured me on the importance of utilizing the sick list. “The contract states…You’re not helping your fellow co-workers out…You earned it and should use it…Yadda, Yadda, Yadda.” I got the message before the trip was over.

Well, the odds eventually caught up with me and a month later I caught a stomach bug. This was the perfect time to try out the sick list. I lay in bed, watched movies, sipped chicken soup, and slept a countless amount of hours, all the while getting paid. I felt a bit guilty at first, but got over it quickly as the third call from my supervisor started to anger me.

“We were worried about you since you have never been on the sick list before. This is not a good time for our company. Don’t make this a habitual thing. Do you think you will be back for your next flight?”

Well, before those phone calls, I probably would have. But just to be sure of my recovery, I took the next flight off as well. The pilots don’t get hassled at all when they call in sick, and they get paid considerably more. What ends up happening is the junior flight attendants, afraid of getting in trouble, go to work regardless of being sick. They then pass their bug on to the older ones, who have no problem using sick leave.

I decided to start work on a new home improvement scheme while recovering from the tail end of my illness. Now, I am like a deer caught in the headlights at home improvement stores. Terms like drywall, joint compound, and caulking guns are alien to me. Easy installation is another one I laugh at, for nothing I have ever done around the house has ever lived up to that label. However, I had resolved I would no longer be afraid of these tasks, and set out for the nearest Home Depot with my wife. In the store, we loaded cans of paint, timber, and gravel onto an industrial-sized shopping cart. Then I saw something across the store that horrified me--my supervisor! Unfortunately, I was sure that he saw me as well. I dropped the bag of gravel I was holding, and quickly spun around.

“What’s wrong, Frank?” Martha asked.

“Shit, shit, shit! I will meet you in the car and explain then,” I said as I ducked down the first available aisle. I heard my wife calling out my name, which was only confirming my identity if my supervisor was indeed approaching. I made it down the aisle and headed for the exit at the other end of the store. Home Depot is a big store, but as I scurried for the door, I glanced down each aisle and to my dismay saw my supervisor doing the same. Was he following me? I began to run, and, oddly enough, so did he. I was at a disadvantage, for the exit was on his side of the store. I was sure to lose this foot chase, so I detoured into the washer/dryer section.

The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it became. I was a grown man running away from another person in fear of being scolded. He had already seen me, and running away wasn’t going to make the situation disappear. The jig was up, and I decided to approach my pursuer, who now was undoubtedly waiting for me at the exit. I bravely walked out of the store, going over in my mind possible scenario explanations. I looked around, waited, and was eventually confronted with a very confused wife, who had been left with a ton of heavy household products and a crazy-acting husband. I explained the situation and we agreed the only solution was to phone him and talk the matter over. I was still showing symptoms of my illness, but also knew that if I was well enough to be lifting heavy items in a home improvement store, I was probably fit enough to return to work.

After a sleepless night, I called and asked the secretary if I could speak to my supervisor.

“I am sorry, he has been on sick leave for the last few days. Can I take a message?”

I smiled, hung up the phone, and the matter was never spoken of again.

Case closed.

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