Framing Type

August 2003

My wife and I recently returned from a three-week vacation in Australia. It was a much-needed break from a bitter cold winter in the States. We, like everyone else in the airline industry, had been through a particularly difficult year and wanted to forget about life for a while. I was instructed to leave my writing pads at home, and she in turn would not bring anything remotely resembling a flight manual. Another resolution we agreed on was that we were going to attempt better photographic rapport. Meaning, we would take more pictures, she wouldn’t throw away any without my approval, and I wouldn’t make my customary funny faces while posing.

There is something about posing for pictures that I never could stand. From the age of six, I adopted a funny-face picture habit that was, and still is, my customary pose. It is similar to a contorted Bill Murray-like smile. Ninety percent of all my photos have this pose--school pictures, work IDs, driver licenses, you name it. My belief is that with those pictures I usually get a laugh, as opposed to a condescending “that’s nice.” The only exceptions were my wedding pictures, which my father-in-law paid an obscene amount to have taken, and my passport photos. I wasn’t interested in refunding my father-in-law and Immigration isn’t much for laughs. I also foresaw many problems from foreign passport control officials.

My wife was obviously growing tired of the pose, so I complied. No funny photo faces without prior permission, of which very few were granted.

Three weeks and eight rolls of film later, we returned home from our great vacation tanned, fat, and broke. We rushed down to the local one-hour photo shop and, to our dismay, six of the eight rolls were exposed, blurred, and unrecognizable. We were told that, with the heightened security at airports, x-ray machines were not as film-safe as they claimed to be. It didn’t ruin the memory of our vacation but it did put a damper on our return. From this experience I have some Frank tips for all of you vacationing camera buffs.

1. When photographing a scenic location, unless it’s an extraordinary view or you are shooting for a magazine, always try to include someone in the photograph. I have a ton of boring but scenic pictures stacked away on a corner shelf that will never make their way into a photo album.

2. Get a good digital camera. This way you can see the shot right after you take it. A big advantage to this is that if you don’t like the shot, you delete it and shoot again. Just think, no more “I was blinking, I look fat, or why were you out of focus?” If you don’t consider yourself technologically inclined, do your research or get advice from someone who already has a digital camera. Most people love talking about their little gadgets.

3. If you stay with the traditional camera, and it’s not too expensive at your holiday destination, get the film developed there. Once developed, the finished photos can’t be damaged by x-ray machines.

4. Don’t bring bulky equipment. Use smaller, compact cameras and lenses. The bigger, more cumbersome ones will only be a hindrance. You will worry about them being stolen or damaged, and probably end up leaving them in your hotel room.

5. Don’t be obsessive. Take a picture of various things but not too many of one. A parrot in a tree may be a good shot, but 20 snaps of the same parrot are a waste.

6. Don’t be afraid to break the mood. Ask someone to take a picture of you even if it means putting the moment on hold. It may be an initial hassle, but you will be glad you did when you return home.

7. Leave the naughty pics for the magazines. You may get a copy but so will all the people at the photo shop. (Another advantage of digital cameras.)

8. Double-check the obvious. Take the lens cap off, and move your finger from the lens when shooting. My mother has more than 50 pictures of my wedding with her finger on the side of every shot.

9. Make a funny face once in a while or change your pose. Repetition is boring; I would rather laugh any day. Granted, moderation is suggested for better marital relations.

10. Take a mental picture. These pictures won’t make you look fat, bald, or goofy. They will even increase in beauty with time. Some of the best pictures I own are the ones stored in the photo album in my head.

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